Friendships are vital to our happiness, but when boundaries between friends and romance are blurred, it can lead to heartache.
Results from a U.S. survey reveal that people most commonly have extramarital sex with a close personal friend, neighbor, coworker or long-term acquaintance.
David Schramm, Utah State University Extension Family Life Specialist joined us with warning signs of unfaithful relationships tips on how to avoid them.
He says to watch out for these warning signs:
Emotional intensity: Sharing intimate details with someone other than your partner, reaching out on social media, looking for reasons to text, seeking emotional support, and prioritizing their opinions over your partner's can indicate an unhealthy attachment.
Secrecy: Keeping your interactions with your friend or co-worker secret from your partner is a warning sign. If you need to hide texts, calls, social media comments, or meetings, it suggests that the relationship could be crossing boundaries.
Physical affection: While friendly hugs may be acceptable in some situations, prolonged physical contact, flirtatious touches, or increased physical closeness can indicate the relationship is becoming more than friendly.
Time together: Finding ways to spend excessive time with someone other than your partner can lead to emotional and physical distance and strain your marriage.
Comparisons: Frequent mental comparisons of your partner to your friend, especially in a favorable light, can indicate that you are developing unfaithful feelings. These comparisons can be compelling and even exhilarating but ultimately misleading. Your emotions can blind you, causing unwise comparisons that can erode your satisfaction with your partner.
Schramm also told us about possible signs of an affair:
Increased secrecy: If a partner is secretive about interactions with co-workers, friends, gym buddies, social media friends, or fellow volunteers, it could be a warning sign.
Emotional distance: If you notice your partner becoming emotionally distant, moody, or overly critical, it may be a sign they are emotionally invested elsewhere.
Time investment: Spending excessive time with someone outside the relationship, especially in the settings mentioned above, can be a red flag.
When it comes to avoiding unfaithful friendships, here are his suggestions:
Set and keep clear boundaries: Create clear boundaries with your partner about interactions with colleagues, gym friends, social media contacts, and other friends. Boundaries may include no one-on-one time, no late-night meetings together, and no discussing of deeply personal topics.
Stay connected: Maintain open communication and prioritize emotional intimacy and connection with your partner. Regularly check in with each other and share your feelings, social activities, work life, and other interactions. Transparency builds trust and reduces the chances of secrecy, and open communication helps keep you on the same page about acceptable behavior.
Prioritize your relationship: Spend quality time nurturing your emotional and physical connection to your partner. Give them all your heart and attention – don't let it wander or make them wonder. Choose to go "all-in" by focusing exclusively on your partner.
Involve your partner: Include your partner in your social interactions with friends. This can help prevent the development of inappropriate bonds and emotions and ensures that your partner feels included and valued.
Reflect on your intentions: Regularly assess your feelings and intentions toward friends. If you develop romantic feelings, recognize those subtle or strong feelings and take a step back and refocus on your primary relationship.
Seek support: If it is challenging to maintain boundaries, consider seeking support from a therapist. Professional guidance can help you navigate complex emotions and reinforce healthy relationship practices.
For more information please visit: extension.usu.edu.
