Shane Petersen is the CEO of the LifeLine for Youth Program and has worked with youth for more than 30 years.
LifeLine is a family counseling and treatment center for troubled youth struggling with drug use, school failure, family conflict, anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, and anything else that is getting in the way of them being happy and successful.
Shane says, "My experience with teens in Utah is a sense that they are expected to be perfect and feel shame for their imperfections."
So how can you parent without the shame?
Shane says be a role model of imperfection. That means don't be afraid to apologize to your children or acknowledge your own imperfections without self shame.
If your teen tells you a poor chose they made like drinking alcohol, vaping, or cutting school, think of it as a good thing. Not a good thing that it happened, but an opportunity to talk.
Shane also says it's important to avoid messages that create shame. For example: "What's wrong with you?" and "What were you thinking?".
Avoid name calling and avoid sending them messages that they are a waste of time.
Instead, focus on positive communication and find solutions together. Shane says, "It's more important to be an ally than a friend. You want to be a resource and support that your children can come to for help navigating the challenges of life."
If you do need help with a troubled youth, LifeLine's services include a 24-hour care residential treatment, day treatment and intensive outpatient/ after school program.
You can learn more by calling 801-936-4000 or visiting lifelineforyouth.com.
