Holidays are important to everyone. Their memories tie us to our loved ones.
For couples, it can be difficult to figure out how to split the holidays between families equally when you're newly married.
Priorities can also change when you have kids of your own.
So, Val Baldwin, Relationship Coach, joined us with expert-backed strategies to split the holidays between families that can make everyone happy.
HOST BOTH FAMILIES IN YOUR OWN HOME
If you have the room and everyone gets along, bring the whole group into your own home. It's a wonderful way to start your own holiday traditions. Keep in mind that hosting a holiday can come with its own stress, so make sure you give everyone assignments and responsibilities so you're all there for each other working as a team.
SPLIT THE DAY IN HALF TO CELEBRATE WITH BOTH SETS OF PARENTS
When both sets of parents are nearby, you can split the day in half and let everyone keep their existing traditions. For instance, brunch at one family's house and dinner at the other's house. This works out conveniently when, for example, one family typically gets together for Christmas Eve and the other for Christmas day.
ROTATE MAJOR HOLIDAYS
Another idea is to split holidays on an 'every other year' rotation between your two families. Spend Thanksgiving with one family and Christmas with the other family. Then the next year spend the two different holidays with the opposite family.
DESIGNATE ONE HOLIDAY FOR YOUR OWN FAMILY AND ONE FOR YOUR SPOUSE.
Working out a designated split holiday schedule can work out conveniently when one family celebrates Hanukkah, for example, and the other celebrates Christmas. Or one family cares about Easter, while the other loves the Fourth of July. If one set of parents doesn't love the holidays they were assigned, you can always change it next year.
MAKE SURE YOU SPEND TIME WITH JUST YOUR OWN FAMILY TOO.
Once couples have small children, most young families want to spend Christmas morning in their own homes to open their presents. Discuss this with both your families to see if it's time to adjust the time you get together on Christmas day. Instead of meeting on Christmas morning, see if they will change it to lunch or dinner.
Once you've made your decision about how to spend the holidays, it's time to tell your families. Open communication is critical. What's most important is that you share with your parents what you and your spouse have decided to do for the holidays, rather than asking for their approval of your plans. Make sure it's clear that it's a decision the both of you made together, so you stay united as a family. Make sure you tell them how much you love them and look forward to seeing them soon.
You can contact Val on her website: valbaldwin.com.
