It's no secret that kids will argue, compete and vie for their parents attention. But, that sibling rivalry can affect the family dynamics and children's well-being.
Shawn Whiteman, PhD., Professor of Human Development and Family Studies at Utah State University, joined us with four strategies to help parents navigate sibling rivalry.
1. Explain differences in treatment. Differential treatment is inevitable and expected. Rather than suggesting equal treatment at all times, it is important to provide reasoning for differential treatment when it occurs. Research indicates that when differential treatment is explained and perceived as fair, it is not associated with negative outcomes.
2. Teach conflict resolution skills. Teach children how to resolve conflicts constructively. Encourage them to express their feelings, listen to each other, and find mutually acceptable solutions. It is often important for siblings to solve their disagreements without parental intervention. Demonstrate healthy conflict resolution and cooperation in your own interactions. Children often mimic their parent's behavior.
3. Do not allow physical aggression. Establish rules forbidding physical aggression between siblings. Violence between siblings is associated with poorer mental and physical health. Verbal and emotional aggression should also be off-limits.
4. Avoid comparisons. Avoid directly comparing your children, such as "Why can't you be more like your brother/sister?" Also, avoid labeling, such as "the funny one," "the smart one" or "the quiet one." Comparisons can promote anger, jealousy and resentment. Highlight each child's unique strengths and achievements.
You can learn more at cehs.usu.edu.
