SALT LAKE CITY — Cristie North lost her 23-year-old son to suicide on January 6, 2017.
Taylor Hagen had been a two-time state champion and captain of the hockey team at Skyline High School. He had a supportive family and a lot of friends who never realized just how much emotional pain he hid behind an impressive façade.
"He was very popular. He was athletic," North said. "So compassionate, and empathetic to others. In fact, he would say that when he came walked into a room, he could feel the energy and how that affected him."
Hagen's mom said it seemed he was facing an unwanted transition.
"He wanted to play hockey, and he had just returned from being on a Triple-A junior team in Colorado, and it was appearing that that was probably not going to continue," she said. "He could see that he probably needed to look at something else, and that was a challenge for him."
He had support. They tried a therapist, a life coach, a prescription for anxiety, but he resisted.
"I can look back now and say that was depression," North said. "What I thought it was was a 23-year-old young man struggling with his identity, what he was going to do after high school, and what life was going to look like, and that was overwhelming. And I could see that played a factor."
A factor in a decision that was just a moment for the young man, but left a scar of permanent loss in the lives of everyone who loved him.
"Six and a half years seems like a long time. But it's really, to me and to most my family, it feels like yesterday," North said. "I was so angry that first year... I don't think I had any other emotion but anger, and I felt so guilty for having the anger."
Hagen left behind his brother and sisters. North realized her anger was taking away their mother as well.
"I was looking for a way to live again for my children. I knew I had to figure this out. I knew that they were going to need support as well, and they deserved to have the mother Taylor had. They had a lot of life left," North said.
Today, the foundation North set up in her son's name has provided hope to hundreds of families and honored hundreds more.
They hold their biggest annual event on Saturday, June 24. It’s called the vision rally, and you’re invited to be a part of it. More information can be found HERE.
