SARATOGA SPRINGS, Utah — Police said they are still investigating to determine what happened after a boy was found shot to death and his mother critically injured in their Saratoga Springs home on Friday.
As details about the shooting remain unclear, mental health professionals shared what conversations parents should be having with children after the tragic event.
“While [children] might seem OK initially, it could affect them later, and so be watchful and then checking back in,” explained licensed family therapist Amy Himes-Kilgore.
8-year-old & his mom who were found in Saratoga Springs home were shot:
Eight-year-old Eli Painter, a student at Riverview Elementary School, and his mother, 44-year-old Jessica Lyman, were both shot, with Lyman remaining in critical condition on Monday.
“Any time a crisis impacts our schools, everyone that works with the child is deeply affected,” said Amie Sisam, director of student support services for the Alpine School District.
The district explained how it was quick to provide support to students.
“Our focus really is to provide those post-invention supports that help to heal after a traumatic event and help our communities and families and students heal,” added Sisam.
Family therapists say parents should check on their kids after any traumatic event.
“I would ask them questions like how are you feeling about this? Do you have any questions about this or concerns? What feelings are you having as far as when they are identified at identifying as neither sad or scared?” shared Himes-Kilgore.
If children are reluctant to open up, parents should engage in an activity like walking or throwing a ball.
“It could be passing a ball. It could be playing a card game. It could be going for a walk, any of these things," said Himes-Kilgore. "...usually when kids are engaged more in activities, their odds are better that they might respond to questions more they might be more reflective.”
Even with the Alpine School District on spring break, resources have been shared with families, and some have already come in to see counselors, who will also be available when students return to class next week.
Therapists say parents should validate their child's emotions, let them express their feelings, and, if possible, maintain a routine.
“Our goal is to have happy, healthy, emotionally managed students who can thrive,” said Sisam.
Malinda Caldwell, an associate clinical mental health counselor, offered these tips for dealing with children after a tragedy:
- The best approach with children is honesty, reassurance, and emotional support.
- Use clear, simple language.
- Avoid euphemisms like: "They just went to sleep," "They are at rest," and "Gone to a better place."
- Gently explain why a person is no longer alive in an age-appropriate way.
- With older kids, be honest, tell them what happened.
- Let children express their feelings without judgment, and allow them to ask questions. Let them know that all emotions are normal and okay to feel.
- Maintain routines.
- Encourage creative outlets such as drawing, writing, or storytelling.
