As a child abuse pediatrician, Intermountain's Dr. Tagrid Ruiz has dedicated her career to detecting child abuse and finding the right interventions. She’s seen enough to know that prevention stats with honesty and understanding.
Dr. Ruiz gets the cases that raise red flags with other doctors and caregivers.
““The majority of cases that we see are actually cases that are not concerning,” she said.
Still, child abuse is a major problem that must be understood. And understanding means acknowledging how difficult parenting can be.
“The period of potty training, that's a very challenging time for parents, right? That period that we call the period of purple crying that starts very early in infancy goes into the first few months, where a child just will not stop crying, no matter what you do. That can be very frustrating. And that can make you feel like I as a parent, am doing something wrong. How is it possible that I can't call my child?”
So, what can you do if you are struggling? It starts with acknowledgement.
“Having that conversation and just accepting hey, there's a potential within you…within me…to a degree within everyone's family to get to that point. And then once that has been acknowledged, well, what do we do? Create a written plan. Write in that plan the different steps that you can take to create more space between the trigger and the reaction to allow a response. And then have that nearby, so that in that moment, you know what to refer to,” said Ruiz.
Dr. Ruiz has already started the list for you, beginning with the reminder that if you are at a breaking point, you can place your baby in a crib and walk away for a short time. They’ll be safe.
Find a trusted person you can call, and if needed the National Parent Helpline is 855-427-2736.
On your plan you should also include information about a nearby crisis nursery, available at all of the state’s family support centers.
Remember, when you acknowledge this could be necessary, you are being smart, brave, and loving.
“It's kind of like that secret that you don't want to tell anyone that my gosh, sometimes I just am so upset. Sometimes I really miss who I was before kids. Sometimes I don't know how I'm gonna get it get through the day because I have work, I have, who knows aging parents, I also have my children, I have all of these situations. That's called being human, and that’s normal,” said Ruiz.
