Whether you're married or just dating, arguments are a part of life. But they don't have to bring you to your knees! Mental health counselor Jessie Shepherd weighs in:
Is there a healthy way to argue or fight in your relationship?
- Most common fight topics are: Sex, Money & Kids
- Understand that fighting is "normal" because you are different people.
- Concerns come in with the type of fight, not the amount of fighting. (safety first and foremost)
- Avoiding is much worse. (Doherty, University of Minnesota, 2016)
Communicating instead of fighting
- Enjoy each other, do fun things together. (4 positive:1 negative ratio)
- Ask for what you need, don`t complain about it.
- Schedule your conflict.
- Ask for clarification; which means you need to listen.
Develop your couple "Fight Style"
- Look at your fights like a third party observer.
- Positive Mindset- fights go better if you think that you will be able to come to a positive conclusion.
- Stop fighting if your brain is foggy/timeouts. (slowly build up tolerance)
- Don`t fight in text & don`t text to much. (Hadfield, BYU, 2013)
- Be Honest, Open and when you apologize, really apologize.
- Discuss the fight itself & how to improve your "Fight Style."
Find more from Jessie at www.jessiethetherapist.com.