Newlywed Tips and Traps

David Schramm with USU Extension says it is not uncommon for many couples to tie the knot during the summer months. Preparing for marriage is often an exciting yet busy and stressful time for families. There is so much to think about and prepare for – cakes and colors, flowers and family, and of course, the reception, rings, and reservations. But for many couples, one of the biggest transitions is learning to live with another person. Someone once referred to the first year as “the wet cement year,” because it’s the time when both members of a couple figure out how to live as partners without getting stuck, without developing bad habits that might trap them later.

Here are some tips and traps for newlyweds:

TIPS

Establish good patterns and ways of being together that should continue for the rest of your marriage.

Negotiate new traditions – talk about the ways you did things in your own family, be respectful, adopt some and come up with some new ones.

Make your house a home – pictures and decorations make a home feel cozy and comfortable.

Practice gratitude – pay attention to the great things your partner does rather than pointing out the negative, and give verbal expressions of thanks. Even a text message can go a long way.

It’s a process – go easy on yourselves; you won’t learn how to be a husband or wife in a day. Keep learning, growing, and trying new things together.

All newlyweds have struggles – the happy ones find ways to manage differences in healthy ways. Keep the lines of communication open.

TRAPS

Don’t compare yourself or your marriage to others – we often compare our weaknesses to others’ strengths.

Don’t talk bad about your partner – family and friends will remember your words much longer than you will. Don’t share your struggles with others, unless there are safety issues.

Be cautious with social media – no phones at the dinner table or the bed. Those are times for connection.

Be wise with finances – discuss what money means and how you plan to manage it. Debt and foolish spending can create stress that divides relationships.

REMEMBER - People are more important than problems! You are on the same team!

For more tips from David Schramm visit his facebook page by clicking here.