Dr. Dave Schramm, from Utah State University shared his tips for working together as a team in marriage.
• Decide to decide: prioritize your relationship, 'mindful marriage' vs. drifting apart. Digital distractions can create distance in relationships.
• Improve 'we' by starting with 'me': Happy healthy relationships start with happy, healthy individuals. Improve personal well-being by 'searching inward' and 'turning outward': increasing gratitude, find 'flow', focus on health (diet, exercise, sleep), identify and use your strengths. Humility and compassion are also key.
• Pursue the positive: We like about 80% of our partner, and 20% bugs us and we wish it would change. Happy couple teams focus on the 80%. Create connection by pursuing positive activities together.
• Create compromise: ALL couples have differences but remember you`re on the same team. It`s not WHO is right, but WHAT is right. Sometimes we sacrifice for the good of the relationship.
• Law of little things: the micro-moments in life lead to macro changes and improvements in happiness and positive well-being. Flourishing relationships are all about building connection in small ways; Random acts of kindness, a note, a text, something that conveys: I`m thinking of you!
David Schramm, Ph.D., CFLE
Family Life Specialist & Assistant Professor
Department of Human Development & Family Studies
Utah State University
2705 Old Main Hill
Logan, UT 84322