Dating and discouraged: The do’s and don’ts

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Licensed counselor Christine Keyser shared a few of her favorite do's and don'ts when it comes to dating.

Dating can be fun and it can also be discouraging. Discouragement sometimes comes from: lack of clarity, negative internal sources (what we tell ourselves) and negative external sources (what others tell us), and not knowing the simple dos and don`ts of dating.

I. Discouragement stems from a lack of clarity (unclear goals and purposes):
• Is your goal to find a temporary playmate or committed relationship?
• Is your goal to find someone who can make you happy and fill your needs?
• Is your goal to find anyone and then change them to meet your criteria?
2. Discouragement stems from external and internal sources.
• Are you powerfully attracted to the wrong type of people? (internal)
• Do you have hidden fears and limiting beliefs about yourself? (internal)
• Are you aligned with attracting and encouraging communication skills? (internal)
• Are you limited in resources? (external)
• What circumstances/situations are blocking you from success? (external)
3. Discouragement stems from not knowing the simple dos and don`ts.
• Don`t waste time in fantasy relationships.
• Don`t tell the media about your love life.
• Don`t go overboard.
• Don`t be needy.
• Don`t be the rebound girl or guy.
• Do stay involved, go places alone where you can meet people.
• Do take the blinders off while meeting people.
• Do stay light, in the early stages of dating.
• Do look your best and improve appearance, if necessary.
• Do be happy and pleasing to be with.
• Do ask your therapist to help you build communication skills and healthy self-esteem.
• Do invest in The Rules II book by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider.

To contact Christine go here.

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