Three therapists with Lifestone Counseling talk to us about communication pitfalls many couples face. For more information, go here.
Recognize the 4 Warning Signs of Destructive Communication:
- CRITICISM: attacking with judgmental language, using absolutes, and “you” language.
- DEFENSIVENESS: language that blames, denies, excuses, lack of listening, empathizing, acting the tough-guy or perfectionist character. Toughness and perfectionism is not about healthy relationships and growth. It is about defensiveness, avoiding blame and shame, and hiding one’s true self (Brene’ Brown).
- CONTEMPT: Psychological abuse, insults directed at the heart of your partner’s sense of self-worth.
- STONEWALLING: shutting down, avoiding, stony silence, negating other.
Successful couples communicate more positives than negatives by a ratio of 5:1 and know how to manage conflict.