Gay man, former Mormon who chose resignation rather than face disciplinary council shares his story

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FILE: The LDS Church's Salt Lake City Temple.

SALT LAKE CITY – The founder of an organization seeking changes to what they call gender inequality within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints faces the possibility of excommunication at a disciplinary council scheduled by the LDS Church for Sunday, and a man who faced a similar situation because of his sexual orientation spoke about his experiences.

Bryan, who asked that his last name be omitted from this story, tells FOX 13 News that his experience has parallels to Kelly’s, and he said he was presented with a choice: resign or face a disciplinary council.

Bryan said he converted to the LDS Church 13 years ago, attended Brigham Young University, stayed in Utah and tried to embrace the faith despite his attraction to other men.

“I didn’t join it just to leave it,” he said. “And I know I desperately tried to make it work with my situation, and the bishop just held the door open for me and said, ‘get out.’”

The man underwent reparative therapy; he said at that time he sought to change his orientation.

He said: “I did. I went through it. I did. I was truly convinced I was sick. I was defective. That I could be cured.”

Bryan said his orientation did not change, but he said he wanted to remain a member of the LDS Church. He said that led to his LDS bishop telling him to repent or face a disciplinary council.

“I was so scared that I did not know what to do, and so I said, ‘I want to defend myself’ and so I chose at first to go to the disciplinary council, before I chose resignation,” he said.

Bryan said he made the decision after speaking with friends who had faced disciplinary councils.

“They said it’s going to be the worst thing you ever go through in your life,” he said.

Kelly’s disciplinary council is scheduled for Sunday. An LDS Church Spokeswoman recently release a statement regarding the church’s disciplinary process, click here for more information and the complete statement.


  • Cartman

    “I don’t like my religion’s rules, therefore I demand that the rules be changed to suit ME.”

    If you don’t believe that J e s u s is making the rules, then you’re not a Mormon. Go elsewhere. Why is this such a difficult concept? Just mind your own freaking business.

    • Larry Schwarz

      I don’t follow all the rules of my religion.I do what I want.I am a reform Jew.I eat cheeseburgers,shrimp and drive on the Sabbath.As long as I am a good person nothing else matters.I challenge a Mormon Board certified Psychiatrist to say Gays can turn sraight via therapy and back it up with medical reasoning and Science.Not this voodoo of shock therapy.I doubt anyone can.

    • Bob Beers


      Thank goodness for you. I remember when you led the charge
      from God and the brethren for the blacks to get the priesthood in 78.
      Oh wait…that wasn’t you or the brethren, it was the loss of tax
      exemption for the LDS Church imposed by the government for
      hatred toward others. Same today Cartman.
      Most of humanity see clearly what you and your church are all

  • Sam

    A disciplinary council would not be scheduled if he had not transgressed a law. Councils do not happen just because one declares same gender attraction.

    • Adam K Finch

      For many years it did. I can provide LOTS of examples. The persecution of our community has a long history. And yes, it is persecution when people have been ex’d on the *suspicion* of homosexual attractions. They’ve only calmed down as the light of day and public scrutiny have embarrassed them into behaving ethically.

    • Cartman

      Sam: Guilty until proven innocent? If disciplinary councils are only called when guilt is already known then what’s the point of them?

      • BigZav

        Hi Cartman,
        Thank you, thank you, thank you for your spot-on comments! I think it’s hilarious folks think you’re LDS just because of your views. As for why a disciplinary council is held when guilt is already established … They are held to help those who have sinned to repent and be forgiven by their Heavenly Father. Most of them are held after a member has confessed a sin to his bishop. Others are held when the member’s actions are well-known and reflect poorly on the church. As a former bishop, I held few disciplinary councils because I felt the sinner (usually a sexual sin of some kind) was very repentant and was well on his or her way toward forgiveness. So, the disciplinary council isn’t a court of law. Guilt is usually already established, unless it’s someone who is accused of preaching false doctrine or is fighting the church over a point of doctrine. Thank goodness I never had to call any of those disciplinary councils.

  • An embarrassed LDS member

    Bryan took your advice…he did go elsewhere. As a LDS member (in good standing I might add) I am so sickened and embarassed at your comments. Our church should be welcoming people, not turning them away. We should be preaching a “Doctrine of Inclusion” as Elder Ballard spoke of. We may disagree with people’s personal opinions, but that should never be grounds to send them away from the church. People like you are the greatest danger to our church right now….its not the gays or the feminists, its the intolerance and judgement of people like you. I am so disgusted by your comment. If you are LDS, you need to spend alot of time in prayer and repent for what you have said tonight.

    • Bob

      Instead of focusing on others perhaps you should be more concerned about yourself and your behavior. Based on your comments I rather doubt you are “a faithful and active LDS member”. You spend way too much time being embarrassed. Not healthy.

  • An embarrassed LDS member

    How do you know that Bryan transgressed a law? Were you there at the meetings with his bishop? Are you prone to some more information about his personal life that you would like to share? If not, then you have no right to judge this good brother. I am so tired of our Utah Mormon culture judging people based on little to no information. In 1998, my son came home early from a mission to Argentina. He came home for medical reasons. He served faithfully and did nothing wrong. Yet, so many people in my ward just assumed he did something wrong and would ask him “what sin did you commit? You don’t just come home early if you had not done anything wrong!”

    You are doing the same thing Sam. You are just assuming that he broke some law without knowing any better. And what the church is saying about councils not being called after extensive efforts to get the person to change is not true. While at BYU, my roommate was threatened with excommunication simply for reading non-LDS approved books about church history. The bishop never once tried to work with him or call him to repent. They simply said “renounce what your doing or be excommunicated” So this has been going on for quite some time.

    Sam, I hope that if you are worthy and able, you go to your nearest temple and repent for your unfounded judgment. As a faithful and active LDS member, I am ashamed of some of the things you and Cartman have posted. I pray for this good brother, and for the thousands of others like him, as well as for Sister Kelly that they may find peace. I also pray that as a church we may be quicker to love and slower to judge.

  • Joseph Paradis

    after all jesus by todays standard would be considered idiot who could not write and is it a fact that lds or mormons believed in multi wives at one time? so who is without fault cast the first stone.

  • Ron

    Never in all of history has more people wanted to join an organization upon which they disagree on what that organization teaches and believes.

  • Cartman

    Why would anyone want to belong to a religion they disagree with? Go join another one. Sheesh. It’s not that difficult.

    Why do “liberals” insist that everyone think exactly like they do?

    • BigZav

      Again, Cartman, you’re absulutely right. I don’t get it either. The only thing I can think is that they have a testimony that the LDS Church is the Lord’s true church and they want to change it to fit their beliefs or lifestyle. The church has come a long way in being more inclusive, but there are some things that are gospel doctrine coming straight from the Lord and the church will never change.

    • Cartman

      If you’re going to insult someone rather than present a cogent argument it’s generally best to check your spelling. You look slightly less foolish that way.

      That’s alright, though. I don’t expect liberals to be intelligent or to have much of a command of the language.

  • Sam

    Simply stated, this brother would not have been facing a possible disciplinary council unless his declaration of same gender attraction was acted upon in some fashion. The church has been very clear that saying you have same gender attraction is much different than acting upon it. No knowledge of his specific actions should be known by anybody except the man and his ecclesiastical leaders so it is not my or anybody’s place outside of that circle of knowledge to judge him or the church for actions taken. Also, just because a council is held does not mean excommunication will be the result.
    As is the case in so many situations, all the facts involved are not divulged. Because I am well aware of that I was not nor am I judging…just stating fact of the disciplinary council process of the church. If you question it then ask your ecclesiastical leader for clarification rather than letting this become a stumbling block in your eternal progression.

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