Digital-Age Intimacy and Relationships Expert Robert Weiss joins us today to talk about some hard truths in relationships, porn and sex addiction, and infidelity.
In today`s world, infidelity is less about the sexual act a person has engaged in, and instead more about the secrets and lies they used to cover that up. The sense of betrayal is one of the most hurtful thing about infidelity.
Men and women typically see and think about sex and relationships differently. For women, sex and relationships tend to be integrated, whereas men are usually more able to compartmentalize.
There are three defining characteristics of sex/porn addiction:
- Preoccupation to the point of obsession with the pursuit of and/or use of sex/porn
- Loss of control over pursuit of and/or use of sex/porn, typically evidence by failed attempts to quit or cut back
- Negative consequences related to the obsessive, out of control pursuit of and/or use of sex/porn
Learning about infidelity (with or without a sex/porn addiction) is a powerful form of emotional trauma. Typically, betrayed partners feel as if they hit by a truck, Weiss says, emotionally though, not physically.
After infidelity is discovered, the betrayed partner (and the cheater) can expect to ride an emotional roller-coaster, which isn't fun or healthy for either partner, but serves as a key healing part of the relationship.
After infidelity, the key to getting out of the doghouse is rebuilding relationship trust, and that requires rigorous honesty about absolutely everything, all the time, from here on out.
Robert Weiss offers more information about relationships, infidelity, and porn and sex addiction on his website www.robertweissmsw.com or throughout his published novels.
His most recent novels are Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating and Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction.